


when it rains

by vampirejanuary



Category: Unseen - Long Story Short Productions (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Pre-Canon, Riddles, Sibling Banter, but before Addison got promoted to Big boss or whatever her job is, not sure it counts as a riddle but i did my best, set vaguely after they joined the black star, technically, this has no plot it was just an excuse to write them affectionately bullying each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29203122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirejanuary/pseuds/vampirejanuary
Summary: Edmond and Addison are sent to investigate some unusual weather patterns.
Relationships: Addison Lavalle & Edmond Lavalle
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	when it rains

Addison frowned at her brother for the twentieth time in three minutes. For someone so woefully pessimistic, he seemed surprisingly chipper about their mission, fidgeting about and flicking sparks from his fingertips.

“Stop that. You’ll set something alight.”

“Oh don’t be such a killjoy. Besides, you and I both know I’m the best at what I do –”

“Tenth best, at most.”

Edmond ignored her, “– and I’m not going to accidentally set our train carriage on fire.”

“Well forgive me if I’m a little sceptical after the incident with that poor fae gentleman.”

“That was two years ago.”

Voice dripping with sarcasm, Addison replied, “Practically ancient history. Why are you so cheerful, anyway?”

Edmond stopped drumming his fingers on the table between them, and grinned.

“Am I not allowed to be happy to spend time with my little sister?”

“Only by twenty-six minutes –”

“Still counts.”

“– and no, you’re not.”

He sighed and leant back in his seat, “Fine. I’m so happy _because,_ sister dear, this is going to be a doddle. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. A slice of cake. It doesn’t matter how you say it, because it’s true.”

“I’m so glad to know Black Star’s got its best, most dedicated agent on the case.”

“So you admit I’m the best?”

Addison frowned again and sent drops of condensation flying off the carriage window at Edmond. They did nothing to dim his triumphant grin.

“You should be taking this more seriously, Edmond. If the Black Star thought it was worth investigating, it’s _got_ to be more than it seems.”

“Maybe _you_ should be taking it _less_ seriously,” At her scathing look, he sat up a bit straighter and exclaimed, “It’s _rain,_ for crying out loud. We’re in _England,_ of course it’s raining!”

“For a whole two months? Without stopping _once_?”

“I don’t know, it sounds normal to me. I’m not some sort of weather expert. Stranger things have happened.”

Addison sighed and rubbed her temples, “Yes, Edmond, stranger things _have_ happened. Because of magic. Which is _why_ we’ve been sent to investigate it.”

“Look, have you heard the one about the man whose shirts kept going missing?”

“Oh dear god, not another riddle.”

Ignoring her protests, Edmond continued his story, “There was a man, a magician, who was completely paranoid. He was absolutely _convinced_ that he was going to get robbed. So he invested in the best security systems the world had to offer, both magical and non-magical. Eventually, his house was harder to get into than... well, than a place that’s hard to get into.”

“Simply fascinating, Edmond. You have such a way with words.”

“Shut up, I’m making this up as I go. Anyway, finally, after setting up all these elaborate traps and alarms, the magician was certain that it would be _impossible_ for any thieves to get into his house, never mind getting back out with his stuff in tow. It took _him_ half an hour to get in, and he had all the access codes, _surely_ a would-be thief had _no_ chance.”

“Is there a point to this or do you just delight in hearing yourself talk?”

“It’s a mix of the two, to be honest. Now be quiet and let me finish. Where was I? Oh yes, after setting up his big security blanket, he _thought_ he would be safe from thieves. But one day, he wakes up to find one of his shirts is missing.”

“He can’t exactly wake up to ‘find’ it if it’s missing, can he?”

“I will pull the emergency stop lever so help me. Do you _want_ me to finish my story or not? Yeah, I thought so. So, his shirt goes missing. No big deal, right? He just assumes it’s in the wash or something. Don’t do that face, Addison, it’s hard to be eloquent with you judging me like that. Then the next day, another shirt’s missing. Again, he sort of ignores it, it’s probably nothing. Who would sneak through all that security just to steal a shirt? But there’s another one missing the next day. And the next. And the day after that. And so on and so forth. Until eventually he’s got no shirts left.”

“Why wouldn’t he just buy more shirts?”

“He spent all his money on protecting his house from thieves.”

Addison scoffed, “Bit of a waste then, wasn’t it?”

“Or was it?” Edmond waggled his eyebrows in a way that was probably supposed to be mysterious, but just ended up looking ridiculous.

“Well, yes. If he spent all that money on making sure his stuff didn’t get stolen only for someone to steal all his clothes, it was a waste of money. Obviously.”

Edmond leant back in his chair again and grinned in that annoying way he always did. The way that said ‘I’ve just wasted your time explaining a simple concept through an unnecessarily complicated riddle and now I’m going to act smug that you didn’t immediately pick up on the solution.’ Distantly Addison remembered her grandmother warning her not to pull funny faces, in case the wind changed and she was stuck like that forever. Maybe the wind _had_ changed, because it felt like there was a permanent frown plastered to her face.

“Fine. Go on then. How did the thief get in? And more importantly, how on _earth_ does this relate to magical rainfall?”

“Are you watching closely? Because the answer’s pretty obvious if you know what you’re looking for.”

Addison sighed, and gestured for Edmond to explain, which he did with gusto.

“Well, we established that it’s pretty much impossible for any thief to get into his house, correct? So, the thief must have already been in the house.”

“You’re not telling me he stole his _own_ shirts?”

“That’s ridiculous. No, it was his _cat._ ”

“His what?”

“His cat. She was pregnant, so she kept stealing his shirts to build a nest behind a bookshelf.”

“ _How_ could I possibly have figured that out? You didn’t mention that he had a cat.”

Edmond rested his chin on his fist, and looked out at the passing scenery with a pensive expression on his face. “You’re right, I should probably have mentioned that. Oh well, next time.”

“There won’t be a ‘next time’ if I have anything to do with it, Edmond. You can’t just tell me a riddle and expect me to pull an answer from thin air. The answer’s not obvious ‘if you know what you’re looking for’ when you’re making me look for clues that aren’t even _there._ ”

“I’ve taken your constructive criticism on board and I promise to make it a bit easier for you next time.”

He reached forward to ruffle Addison’s hair and she batted him away. Despite her irritation, she couldn’t help the smile creeping across her face. Whether the rain turned out to be magical or not, she was secretly glad to have been assigned this case alongside her brother. It wasn’t often they got to work together, but when they did (and when they weren’t bickering) they made a good team.

Which reminded her...

“What did all of that have to do with the case?”

“Aha, now you’re asking the right questions.”

“Admit it, you completely forgot what your point was, you were too busy trying to be clever.”

“I’d never try to be clever, that’s your job.” Before Addison could decide whether that was a compliment or not, Edmond was rushing on, “But I didn’t forget my point, actually. My point was: the magician thought his shirts were being stolen by some criminal mastermind, when it was really just his cat. We think the rain is the work of some nefarious magician, but maybe it’s really just... rain.”

With a screeching shudder, the train began to slow down in preparation for its next stop. A soothing voice called out the station name from the speaker system, and Addison and Edmond both stood and started lifting their bags down from the overhead storage rack.

As the twins stepped out into the pattering rain, Addison rolled her eyes at her older (but only by twenty-six minutes) brother and said, “I can’t believe you wasted half an hour and a riddle about a cat just to tell me not to get my hopes up about a mysterious rain mage.”

Edmond wrestled briefly with his umbrella before shooting her a smile and replying, “Well don’t come crying to me when it turns out to just be normal, regular, plain old, non-magic rain.”

Before she could respond he was off, striding towards the exit with his suitcase in tow. Addison rolled her eyes again, sighed fondly, and rushed after him, demanding to be allowed under his umbrella.


End file.
